Tom Brady: "The Greatest Roast of All Time" Highlights & Thoughts (2024)

Posted in: Netflix, Opinion, TV, TV | Tagged: kevin hart, netflix, roast, tom bardy, Tom Brady

Check out some highlights, general thoughts, and more about Netflix's The Greatest Roast of All Time: Tom Brady on Sunday night.

While we could debate whether or not it lived up to its title, Netflix's Kevin Hart-hosted The Greatest Roast of All Time: Tom Brady definitely understood the assignment. With an all-star lineup of comedians, sports figures, and more, Tom Brady voluntarily stepped in front of a comedic firing squad that didn't hold back. It would be impossible to post every highlight from the night – but we've picked out some examples that pretty much set the tone. In fact, let's start off with a brief clip that we're sure Patriots fans will appreciate on a whole number of levels:

Here's an awkward mic moment where Patriots owner Robert Kraft offering a whole lot of public love to ex-Patriots coach Bill Belichick – with Hart in the middle. Let that one sink in before you check out some more highlights:

Aaron Hernandez

JEFF ROSS: "The Juice is loose tonight! If the gloves don't fit, you must talk sh*t! What's up, Patriots? I just came from Hell. Aaron Hernandez says hello. Yeah, muthaf*ckers – it's a Roast. And I had to dress like O.J. because I'm about to kill this white bitch right here! [points to Tom Brady]"

NIKKI GLASER:"Now, please give it up for zero-time Super Bowl champion Randy Moss! I'm sorry, Randy, why don't you have a ring? What the hell, man? You're one of the best ever. Drew Bledsoe has a ring. Aaron Hernandez had a ring… around his neck."

JULIAN EDELMAN: "Now, everyone always asks me how big Gronk's dick is. Now don't get me wrong, it gets the job done. But there was this other Patriots tight end, now he was hung."

Rob Gronkowski

TONY HINCHCLIFFE:"Gronk, I'm happy you could take a break from writing letters to Santa to be here today. I knew you were here when we were all out of chocolate milk backstage. By the way, Gronk, that's Kevin Hart sitting next to you – that's not your shadow. Gronk, you look like the Nazi that kept burning himself in the ovens. You look like the final boss on 'George Floyd: The Video Game.'"

NIKKI GLASER:"Tom also lost $30 million in crypto. Tom, how did you fall for that? I mean, even Gronk was like, 'Me know that not real money.' Gronk actually does bitcoin, which is where he just chews on a handful of nickels."

Gisele Bündchen

KEVIN HART:"Single life is what you deserve because you had no choice. Gisele gave you an ultimatum. Gisele said, 'You retire, or we're done.' That's what she said to you, Tom. 'You retire, or we're done.' Let me tell you something. When you've got a chance to go 8-9… and all it will cost you is your wife and your kids? You gotta do what the f*ck you gotta do, do you understand me? Yeah, you gotta do it… Yeah, Tom! f*ck them kids!"

NIKKI GLASER:"The only thing dumber than you saying yes to this roast was when you said, 'Hey babe, you should try jiu-jitsu.' That's gotta suck. How much would it suck for Tom just knowing your ex-wife's new boyfriend can beat your ass while eating hers?"

Speaking ofTony Hinchcliffe, the comic was considered by many to be the highlight of the night – a high honor considering how the night ended up. Check out the clip above for another killer joke: "Bert Kreischer is a king. He looks like if the Tiger King and the Liver King only ate Burger King and had a liver that looked like Martin Luther King got beat up by Rodney King."

After exactly the kind of introduction that you would expect from Payton Manning, Brady was given a chance to respond. How did he do? After the beating that he took up to that point, he was pretty impressive. As a full-time gig? It should rank after retiring, becoming a football announcer, and returning to football – no rush. But he did get some nice knife twists in on Manning ("Peyton, thank you so much for coming out to L.A. to do this. I know sometimes you live in Denver, and sometimes you live in Louisiana, but you'll always live in my shadow"), Kim Kardashian – and Kanye West ("Kim Kardashian, thank you so much for being here. I know Kim was terrified to be here tonight. Not because of this but because her kids are at home with their dad"), and even the NFL's "Deflategate" investigation ("Where's Roger Goodell? Remember 'Deflategate'? The NFL spent $20 million and found that it was more 'probable' than not that I was 'generally aware' that someone may have deflated my footballs. You could have just given me the $20 million, and I would have just told you I f*cking did it."

But not every joke was a winner with Brady, who apparently took issue with one joke Ross made regarding Patriots owner Robert Kraft. Ross turned his rant to 2000 – when the New England Patriots selected the future seven-time Super Bowl-winning quarterback during the sixth round of the NFL draft (making him the 199th overall pick). "So Tom became a Patriot and moved up to New England, and on the first day of training camp, that scrawny rookie famously walked into the owner Robert Kraft's office and said, 'I'm the best decision your organization has ever made. Would you like a massage?'" Ross joked.

The livestream cut to the audience, and we could hear the reaction to the knife-twist, alluding to Patriots owner Robert Kraft's past headline-grabbing off-the-field activities. As Ross was looking to turn his attention towards Kraft (who was in the audience), Brady – who already wasn't looking too happy – got up to make sure he had Ross's attention. In the clip that's been rumbling loud on social media, we see Ross attempt to move on before Brady approaches Ross to whisper (though caught on mic), "Never say that s**t again."